SOMEONE please tell me how you explain modern-day Western relationships to a five-year-old.
It used to be so simple.
You may remember, when we were kids, it went like this: Boy meets girl. Boy marries girl after a suitable period of time. Girl has babies. They all live happily ever after.
Now it’s far more complicated. There are dozens of different scenarios, any one of which could be the way life turns out.

They include the following:

Boy meets girl. They buy a house together but don’t get married. They have two children. Boy meets another girl, and goes to live with her. Girl lives alone for two years before meeting another boy. They have another child and marry.

Boy meets boy. After living together for 10 years, they get ‘married’ and adopt two-year-old twins.

Girl meets girl. One of them has a child through artificial insemination. They decide ‘marriage’ is not for them.

Girl meets two boys. She can’t decide between them, so they all set up house together in a commune in Scotland.

Girl meets a series of boys, but doesn’t stay with any of them. She has four children, all with different fathers, before marrying a much older boy who happens to have money.

Girl doesn’t meet any boys she’d be happy to spend the rest of her life with. She remains childless and resorts to eating vast amounts of chocolate.

Girl meets boy. They live together for 12 years before getting married and having one child. Boy then meets another girl, and buggers off. They divorce.

(That last one’s me, by the way).
See how hard it is? Not only do you have to explain that men and women rarely pair up for life these days, you also have to delve into the worlds of sexual preference, social stigma and personal morality. I don’t think a five-year-old can quite grasp this.
Last week The Princess announced she was going to marry a golden-haired boy in her class.
This week, after a short discussion about modern marriage, she declared she was going to marry her best (female) friend. I told her that would be just fine with me. After all, who knows?

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