SOMETIME this morning a nameless judge in an anonymous courtroom in deepest Birkenhead will have sounded the latest death knell on my marriage.
Five and a half months after Soon-To-Be-Ex-Husband left home for good, my divorce becomes slightly more final today.
So I thought it would be a fitting time to take stock, a la Bridget Jones, of my life and how it has changed over that time.
Here goes:
Divorce proceedings: 1
Husband: 0
Children: 1
New mortgages: 1
New cars: 1
Hair: Unwashed
Roots: Grey
Hairy armpits: 2
Weight loss: Half a stone (though I haven't weighed myself since the Easter blow-out, so I could be kidding myself on this one)
Bottles of wine: 1, unopened, still in fridge
Cigarettes/illegal drugs: 0
Admiring glances from members of the opposite sex: 0
Admiring glances to members of the opposite sex: 298
Kisses with members of the opposite sex: 0
Sexual encounters: Are you kidding me? You're not paying attention, are you?
Nights out: 5
Nights in watching Dr Who: 28
Fantasies involving David Tennant: 43
Holidays: 0
Hours spent watching CBeebies: 323
Hours spent in meaningful conversation with adults: 28
Blogs started: 1
Comments from readers: 2
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